.​.​.​of Life

by Hopudoshi

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"I show you Sorrow...and I show you the Ending of Sorrow." -Buddha

This album, ...of Life, is autobiographical in nature. The album progresses as a sort of story of my life, drawing on my thoughts on, and philosophy of life (hence the title). ...of Life is a concept album that is split into two parts, using the theme of the Buddhist saying above. The first half of the album is the "I show you Sorrow" half, and the second is the "and I show the Ending of Sorrow" half. Also, the first half of the album represents the past and the mundane aspects of life, while the second half represents the present and more spiritual aspects of life. The album's theme is built around the concept of Yin and Yang. Not necessarily in the Taoist sense (although Taoist concepts are evoked), but in the sense of complementary opposites.


released August 24, 2011

Artists: Hopudoshi, BDPS, Lexy Lou, BHop, Kayla, Belle
Producers: Hopudoshi,



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Hopudoshi Columbus, Ohio

Hopudoshi, Hopanova, and Hop-Leo all represent different sides of my personality. Sometimes they are in harmony and sometimes they are in conflict. The differences between them are the reason for some of my ambivalent feelings towards certain issues.

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Track Name: Sanctum (Intro)
SPOKEN: so // you // have come // to the Sanctuary of my Mind
Track Name: 25 Midcliff Drive
Spoken: “I show you Sorrow” (-Buddha)// VERSE 1: I guess you can call this a reintroduction // you can call me crazy, that’s a fair assumption // I’m bout to show you how a cracked mind functions // you get too scared you can part at any junction // this is something // you may not want to witness // eternal sickness // mental unfitness // you be the jury from the safety of the benches // so this is the story of a boy named Hop // a pretty quite child, didn’t talk a lot // most of the time he retreated in his mind // the world was cold but it was warm inside // didn’t fit in in his rowdy home // as a peace-seeker he preferred to be alone // became the lost child, locked in his room // at an early age, contemplating doom // soon, he began to identify with the Moon // he couldn’t disappear, in the waking hours as the Sun loomed // in the sky, he became familiar with the Dark side // Yin and sin intrigued his blossoming mind // at Night // he became himself, no one else to merge with // he was free to just be, memory of the day he purged it // in the Dark he found solace in loneliness // to understand this child, you need know only this // CHORUS 1: he’s seeking // harmony // striving for // unity // he’s seeking // Peace and Love // the world is hawkish // but he’s a dove // he’s a dove // he’s a dove // VERSE 2: he’s alone, in his attic bedroom // it was mid-June // grounded again // how long’s it been // he counted many Moons // gazing out the window // no TV so he enjoys the show // below kids laugh an play the day away // he envies them // no cares in the world, unlike him // too much time // alone in his mind // thinking bout death, even suicide // what a sweet release // from the Devil’s lease // Eternal Peace // unlike his house // where the constant arguing’s hard to shut out // he does his best // to put his mind at rest // you’d never guess // that inside he’s stressed // he’s saying “yes” // to all requests // won’t be pest // see him less and less // his momma’s gone // picks up the phone // hears the dial tone // he’s all alone // when he’s at home // plays Pac and Bone // he’s in the zone // now he’s not alone // CHORUS 2: he’s seeking // Peace and Love // what else matters // nothing’s above // CHORUS 1 // CHORUS 1 & 2
Track Name: Forsaken
CHORUS (x2): hey mama, where’s you go? // left ya baby all alone // deep in my heart is bottomless sorrow // cause a mother’s love I’ll (I’ve) never know (known) // VERSE 1: mama you bore me, but maybe I bored you // I would imagine flying, the clouds I would soar through // at the end my destination was always before you // you were the answer to life like the numbers 4-2 // mother you had me, but I never had you // the words of Lennon sting like daggers of pure truth // I pretended I didn’t care like it didn’t faze me // my outward appearance was laid back and lazy // but inside my heart is a torrent of emotion // constant ups and downs like waves in the ocean // under the moon and stars I would fantasize // that you were gazing at the same night sky // but when I couldn’t sleep it’s back to reality // a small child sad that mama’s mad at me // you could liken me to a weeping willow // when you were gone in the night like teeth under a pillow // BRIDGE: don’t go // don’t go // don’t go // don’t go, no, don’t go // CHORUS x2 // BRIDGE x2 // VERSE 2: all my life has been a constant search // to replace the woman, who gave me birth // called my grandma ‘mom’ for the longest time // was the kindest lady from my father’s side // and of course my pops did all he could // but I feel like half of me will be lost for good // had a couple of aunts that made me feel at home // but I couldn’t shake the feeling of being alone // it was constant conflict with my step mother // we were always obnoxious to one another // in all our struggles I’d be on the losing end // grounded in my room again and again // couldn’t stand her then // but now I see // she really only wanted what was best for me // did what she could to raise me as her own // but I couldn’t shake the feeling of being alone // cold, cold world without a warm nurturer // wanted to search for her // I wonder if it hurts for her // of my heart, my mother was a murderer // she had a another son, I couldn’t find another her // but I was lucky to have some strong women in my life // they give me the image of what I want in my wife // they give me the love that I’d never known // but can’t shake the feeling of being alone // BRIDGE // CHORUS x2 // BRIDGE x2 // CHORUS x2 // BRIDGE x3
Track Name: Lost Child!
BRIDGE (x2): the lost child // the lost child, what? // the lost child // the lost children // CHORUS: we won’t take it // we gon’ make it // BRIDGE x2 // CHORUS // VERSE 1: so this kid, he shows out in school // so his peers will think that he’s cool // fitting in is a full time job yo // made some friends, now he’s kickin it like Tae Bo // his grades suffer but at least he’s not ostracized // hard shell but he’s softer on the inside // he seems happy but he can’t be his true Self // too busy imitating everybody else // the cool kids have girls so he gets one too // the cool kids try weed so he hits some too // it’s not really for him so he puts it down // likes the reaction he gets when he clowns around // BRIDGE x2// CHORUS x3// BRIDGE // CHORUS // VERSE 2: he’s sick and tired of keeping up facades // so he’s quitting that full time job // he’s introverted // you might call him emo // TRD is a thing of the past yo // not popular // he’s authentic // the two don’t mix at school // it’s no picnic // he gets through it though // does things his own way // not concerned with what his so-called friends say // his circle’s smaller now // but he doesn’t mind // cause these are real homies // one of a kind // he’s made friends for life // that’s what he’s seeing // so he’s content now // with just Being // BRIDGE // CHORUS x4 // BRIDGE x2
Track Name: Tiny Piece of Metal
VERSE 1: she stabbed me in the heart through my back // now can you picture that? // this is metaphorical fact // but I don’t hate her // but I don’t love her either // her last dude used to beat her // that’s not how I treat her // but the tragedy // is how she acts with me // black eyes heal rapidly // but her internal pain, it is eternally // clutching on and she // can’t stand my pleasantries // she’s convinced that she’s bad and somehow less than me // such a sad thing // but the last thing I want is to see her packing // she’s walking out the door // and I can’t stop her // my heart can’t take no more // then somebody shot her // BRIDGE: such a tiny piece of metal destroys everything // VERSE 2: my world’s in slow mo // as I run to the window // the rain is pouring down // but I can’t hear a sound // and there he stands // her ex with gun in hand // I can’t believe my eyes // look to the dreary sky and ask “why?” // I see his lips move // whispers “I love you” // puts the gun to his temple and then boom // BRIDGE x2 // CHORUS (x2): he thought true love is won // through the barrel of a gun // I say “what have you done? // now she’ll never see the sun” // (never again) // BRIDGE x2 // VERSE 3: I snap out of my daze // my world is still a haze // I see my girls gaze // it’s staring off in space // I close her eyes // I’m kneeling by her side // I hold her tight // her lips are turning white // I kiss her anyway // and walk out in the rain // it’s washing blood away // there’s not a single ray // of hope… // BRIDGE // I grab the gun and went back to my boo // held her in my arms and place my hand on her belly where she was shot through // there’s blood there for two // now there’s just one thing to do // BRIDGE // boom
Track Name: Desert Sun
SPOKEN: uh huh // now here we go // CHORUS: in the land where it hardly rains // the terrain looks all the same // and the sand bakes by the ton // underneath the Desert Sun // and I feel the people’s pain // waiting for that Desert Rain // but I’m forced to tote my gun // underneath this Desert Sun // VERSE 1: so I’m shipped off to Iraq in the desert sand // while Katrina victims struggle just to find land // I’m pissed off cause this isn’t even my job // I feel lost like my Soul’s just been robbed // it’s the middle of the Night, on this C-130 flight // we’re guided by the Moon Light // they’re expecting us to fight, like we’re really in the right // I see no end in sight // I zone out from my immediate surroundings // delve deeper into all the books around me // do what I can to acquire new knowledge // all I’m thinking bout is going back to college // but now it’s not for astronomy, cause all I see is poverty // the life of an Iraqi // cause of my empathy and sympathy, I’m changing my philosophy // it’s off to the humanities // CHORUS // VERSE 2: I keep a book inside my pocket during missions // as I’m caught up in this war of attrition // reading Plato, Aristotle, Machiavelli // as I search for answers to the worlds mysteries // consult the Bible, the Koran, the Buddha’s Teachings // Malcolm X makes me proud to just be me // I see the influence of the world’s religions // which am I? I haven’t come to a decision // there’s this fool-of-a-minister on base // he’s gonna make me do about face // he’s calling us Christian Soldiers // to take the burden of killing off our shoulders // but he’s preachin lies // and I agonize // when I realize // these civilians die // cause we mobilize // drones I despise // word to the wise // war’s unjust demise // CHORUS x2
Track Name: Shining Void (Interlude)
SPOKEN: “…and I show you the Ending of Sorrow” (-Buddha) // LYRIC: jai guru deva om (x5) // (literal translation: Glory to the Shining remover of Darkness; paraphrase translation: Victory to God Divine)
Track Name: Moksha
SPOKEN: come on // come on // come on // CHORUS (x2): come away with me // take a Trip with me // Light up the Tree // see Reality // we’ll no longer Be // cause we’re Everything // and Everything // is Everything and Nothing // just spread your wings // (yeah, yeah) // VERSE 1: cause I seen the Devil twice in my life // trapped in the Void // here’s a slice of Strife // Damn // it’s like nothing's Right // it’s everlasting Despair // but I see the Light // now I’m Here // there’s Bliss in the air // and the Fear // has disappeared // it’s kinda weird // but words like ‘my’ and ‘I’ just have no meaning Here // cause Everything is Everything // listen to these words as I sing // can you hear that Silent Whisper // it’s even better than being with her // can’t explain It // I can’t explain It // but I hope you can hear It mane // can’t explain It // I can’t explain It // but I hope you can feel It mane // CHORUS // (yeah, yeah) // VERSE 2: this green’s my moksha medicine // and my friend I hope ya // look within // before you take it // try hard to make it // just don’t Forsake it // then again // these Reality-revealers // destroy or they heal us // know we’ll only get stronger if this Trip doesn’t kill us // hope you feel us // cause Mary is my religion // this Light is all consuming // I’m praying for my doom’s end // it’s like my Soul is naked // don’t know if I will make it // but I love It // CHORUS x2 // (yeah, yeah)
Track Name: Stave Off the Dark
VERSE 1: so it begins // but I could be wrong // wondering // did it just end? // I’m Here again // and I’m questioning // is the Dark my friend? // I’m trapped in Yin // Eternal Sin // diggin // deep within // I’m battling // battalions // of the Devil’s kin // the Moon’s over head // as we’re marching on // through the Bed of the Dead // and I’m seeing Red // as I clutch my heart // feel the Darkness spread // and how could this be? // is this really me? // such a vile being // and I’m falling // stop struggling // let the Darkness free // CHORUS: I see // nothing // but the Darkness // inside me // but what’s this // I see // within the Void // shining? // VERSE 2: Love // it's really all you need // and I’m // swimming in this Sea of Tranquility // and the // Light // it shines over me // and Everything is really Everything // and I’m // Home // no need to roam // found the Promised Land // no longer alone // and it’s // Rest // did I pass the Test? // what’s this nagging feeling that I’m not done yet? // it’s the // Fight // between the Dark and the Light // it’s not over so I’m diving back in the Night // I’m recharged, resurged, and I’m ready to go // a champion of the Light // so I Illuminate foes // VERSE 1*: so it begins // but I could be wrong // wondering // did it just end?
Track Name: Lonely Mystic
SPOKEN: this one goes out to all the Mystics // I’m talking Plato // Plotinus // Aldus Huxley // Kid Cudi // all those that know // the Real // LYRIC: is it that? // is it this? // did we miss? // is it Bliss? // it’s Bliss // VERSE 1: it’s true // few know my Pain // but fewer still // can comprehend my Joy // Rejoice // bask in the Light // of the Morning after the Long Dark Night // the Sight // is a Gift and a Curse // in the Darkest hour feel I need a hearse // the Bliss // sorry can’t explain this // if you’ve felt It then you know that it is worth the risk // BRIDGE: the Mystic // (yeah) // CHORUS (x2): the lonely, lonely Mystic // (yeah) // VERSE 2: so here I am on my Mystical journey // it’s never ending like Bastain’s story // is it better to Be or not to Be? // is it better to See or not to See? // I’m questioning in Eternity // seeing Everything is Everything // but while I’m doing this // I’m losin it // cause I’m feeling the presence of the Numinous // how many times have died now // how many times have I lied down // Rebirth all over again // Samara will never end // but it’s better to Be // but it’s better to Be // BRIDGE // CHORUS x8 // SPOKEN: let’s not forget about the two most important Mystics of all // Christ and the Buddha // and what did they both take from their experience? // Love // Love and Compassion // remember that // Hopudoshi signing off
Track Name: Soul f/ BDPS
BRIDGE 1: free // your // Mind // VERSE 1: tried to change the world but I changed my Mind // unplugged from the Matrix just in time // and I // saw Heaven right before my eyes // while Hell on Earth was on the rise // catch up (ketchup) don’t fall behind // I’m on the wrong side of these mustard lines // left of center politically // so I picket the ticket that was given me // white fence // the American Dream // meant to repel all colored beings // or at least that’s how it seems // got this one way pass to poverty // consumer driven economy // but the bourgeoisie hold the key // they pump the breaks on equality // and damn the market if my Soul’s not free // CHORUS 1: we will bathe // in Tranquility // yeah you and me // when our Minds are free // we will soak // in Serenity // yeah you and me // when our Souls are free // BRIDGE 1 // BRIDGE 2: free // your // Soul // VERSE 2: it’s time we cleansed the Doors of Perception // what we see now is a misconception // we’re in a Dream // fell for Inception // can’t save the world with one election // so now I focus on freeing my Mind // and I’m talkin bout this Spirit of mine // cause ‘psyche’ is Greek for 'Soul' // and if you didn’t // then now you know // I’ve seen the Highs and Lows // Mystical states of Bliss and Woe // question society's goals // if they’re telling us wrong, don’t do what we’re told // and my Soul knows War // it’s been beaten, torn // through the battles I’ve been worn // but I’ll always be Reborn // CHORUS 1 // CHORUS 2: we will sail // through Infinity // yeah you and me // when our Minds are free // we will soar // through Eternity // yeah you and me // when our Souls are free // (simultaneously with CHORUS 2) BRIDGE 1 & 2 // CHORUS 3: we will soar // through Eternity // yeah you and me // when we find the Key
Track Name: Here...
VERSE 1: my Life // it just blip on the radar // right? // damn // but in the Here and Now // I Am // enjoy the Day while the Sun’s shining down // and the Night when the Moon comes around // live in the moment the Present’s a gift // don’t waste your time on what doesn’t exist // cause the Past is gone and Tomorrow never comes // what’s done is done // and what will Be will Be // fell down on my knees // saw God in the Trees // and It’s in Everything // cause the Ultimate is the essence of Being // and It’s in all of us // control you thinking cause it’s powerful stuff // and since our thoughts manifest in the Universe // nothing’s stronger than our Minds on this Earth // VERSE 2: and there’s a sense of urgency // when I’m questioning // Mortality // and something gets hold of me // takes over me // when I’m gonna leave // I transcend transience // with the Mystical Experience // Light it up and take a hit // see Hell on Earth and I’m shakin it // but I can’t escape from it // Eternity’s controlling me // so I just let it Be // now the Universe is Whole to me // suddenly // I Perceive // Everything // Presently // and all of Being // is Infinite Synchronicity // and it all makes sense // and it’s so intense // there’s nothing like This // Eternal Bliss // Here // Now // Here // Now // Here // Now // Here // Now
Track Name: & Now (Outro)
Here // and Now // the only Place and Time // we have Power // Now // and Here // Live our Lives // without Fear (repeat all)